Saturday, November 3, 2012

I'm Tired Of...

I'm tired of babies and all baby related things. I think television is in a baby booming phase because it seems to me that every show has some sort of baby or pregnancy plot. New sitcoms are being made about new parents; old sitcoms are having characters get pregnant, dramas are having the "big dramatic twist" be a pregnancy. I'm just tired of it all. There's a whole world out there without children who just don't care, but even if you have children, how many new and original jokes or story lines can be created about this subject? The answer to that is none.

I'm tired of my favorite (or any) sitcoms injecting "heart" into the story and or characters. Yes, I realize that How I Met Your Mother's audience skyrocketed when they started injecting a lot more heart into the show, but fuck it, when I sit down to watch a sitcom, the last thing I want to see is a three episode arc about one of the characters parents dying. It's called a "sitcom," meaning a "situation comedy," which means you put a character or group of characters in a common situation or location and you make it FUNNY.

While I'm at it, I'm goddamn tired of advertising agents on TV and in the movies. You would think half the country were advertising agents, because they're targeting this demographic so often. Yes, I get it, when you have a character whose an advertising agent, it allows the writer to easily have life lessons learned throughout the show or movie give him or her the great idea for the advertising campaign they're working on. It also allows for new and famous guest stars week in and week out. And no, lets not modernize this by switching to sports agent, Hollywood agent, or any other kind of agent.

While they're at it, let's also do away with characters on shows or movies being producers of some sort of show, characters writing articles for a magazine or newspaper, interns who somehow have enough money for a nice apartment in New York...

...Characters in a high school show who are going off to college far away from where the show is set. I mean, come on. We all know they'll be right back on the show next year, so let's just not fake it. But for god's sake, don't make their reasoning be for their boyfriend or girlfriend; that just gives too many high school kids bad ideas.

If I have to talk about someone, or reveal to a friend something bad I did to another friend, I'm going to do it quietly and when I absolutely know that the person I'm offending is nowhere near where I'm talking. I also make sure to follow the same rules if the evil gossip of my friends is anywhere near. That way they can't threaten me with the juicy information they just overheard. So, can we please do away with all characters who are overheard because they decided to open their stupid mouths when the offended person is in the next room.  

And finally, please, we do not need "this season on...." Just give me a 20 second teaser for next week's episode and be done with it. I don't want plot spoilers for the next nine months of the show. Just stop it already.  

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